The Pressure I Put On Myself

Yesterday late afternoon I started feeling REALLY tired. Like to my bones fatigued (I blame the lady cycle I'm on). I contacted my buddy "J" who runs the morning track workouts (he's awesome and is trying to help me PR on my race this weekend) to let him know I might not be there. Being the cool coach that he is, he reminded me that rest is good and that I need this fatigue crap gone before Saturday. I went to bed feeling guilty that I wasn't going to make my workout, feeling like I'd let my fellow runners down and hoping I'd wake up rested/raring to go. I'm sitting here in my PJs, at 750 am slugging coffee and most certainly can tell you that this miracle did NOT happen.

I've gotten it in my head that I HAVE to PR for this 5k. My current time to beat is 22:50. I have no clue how I ran my last 5k that fast. Seriously. I've started to put pressure on myself in a way that I'm notorious for. **sigh** The idea of racing is no longer fun at this point. WHY do I do this to myself? I've got no clue. It's not like I'm going to lose sponsorship from Nike! It's not like my friends and family will respect me any less. I'm still fast. I'm still fantastic. So, I'm going to take a rest today and stop freaking out about this damn race. I'm going to allow myself to focus on other things like grocery shopping and just not worry about it. I'm lifting tomorrow, resting on Friday (getting my hair cut whoooo!) and Saturday whatever happens will happen. :) My money for this entry goes towards a great cause and that's what matters. If I cross that finish line with a PR then hot diggity damn! If not then I'll shrug, say oh well and take my happy ass to the farmers market with my fellas. :) 

I came across this post on facebook this morning. Have you checked out her page? It's awesome. The most recent post hit home for me. 

https://www.facebook.com/womenarehungry