Worth A Read

Woke up this morning and this was in my inbox. Fantastic timing based on my recent post and worth reading. From Jill at JillFit Physiques---


My Go-To Strategy to Quit Body-Shaming

First off, you don’t wake up one morning and just love your body.

Learning to say nicer things about your body is a practice. And how do you begin a practice? Well, you just start. There’s no perfect time. But the three steps for me are:

Awareness. You catch yourself in those moments when you are doing the old thing, saying the old things, acting in those old ways. You try to stay mindful in that moment.
Choose a different response. A response that serves you.
And then keep doing that shit over and over again until it becomes automatic.
And the gateway to this practice for me has been … compliments.

Compliments. Praise. Whatever. Both giving them generously, and receiving them gracefully.

There is power in praise. And I find it curious how we dance around compliments in our society, on both sides. Let me explain.

On giving praise generously to others

At times we can feel reluctant to give praise because it feels like giving away our power – like, if I acknowledge that this person is good at this thing, that somehow makes me not-so-good at it, too. Which is absurd because one person’s success or character has nothing to do with anyone else’s, but somehow praise feels finite.

Of course the most confident people are also the most humble. They give praise the most freely because they recognize that giving it doesn’t take away from their own power. They understand that there’s enough amazingness for everyone.

And so there’s power in offering compliments generously. Don’t be stingy with praise. When you hold back out of a scarcity mindset, it’s a message to your higher self that there's a ceiling to your potential. Instead, when you give freely to others, it lifts you up too, doesn’t it? I’m sure you’ve had this experience.

It’s cliché, but it’s also true: “It’s in the giving that we receive.” This mantra holds power, it elevates all of us to #abundancestatus. We start to feel like it’s possible to do more, be more, have more when we give freely.

On graciously receiving praise from others

This is the harder part, right?

My friend Jen Sinkler, founder of Thrive with Jen Sinkler, has a most popular blog called, "Unapologetically Strong" where she puts "us" as women on blast for being unable to easily accept praise and compliments with grace and appreciation.

She wrote:

"At your next opportunity, eavesdrop on any conversation occurring among a group of women, and specifically listen for the downplaying of any compliment given to one another. Once you know what to look for, you will hear it, over and over again.

Instead of just saying ‘Thank you,’ we will say, ‘Oh no, this old thing/you’re just being nice/it’s just luck/etc./etc./etc.-motherscratching-etera.’ It’s part of the social script we are given at an early age, and you know what? It’s total bullshit."

I have to agree. And in fact, I don't think deflecting compliments and shirking ownership is self-deprecating or humble. I think it's just straight-up awkward and even insulting to the person giving the praise.

Most of all, when we belittle our own value--even if doing it to appear humble or selfless--we are sending a message to our higher self that we don't matter and we aren't valuable or worthy.

And you know what? Words have weight. They mean something. They show up later in our self-assessment, whether conscious or not. We are subtly affirming (or not) our own value.

So next time someone gives you a compliment, practice accepting it gracefully.

People won't think you're egotistical. In fact, they'll be relieved that you didn't make them sit there trying awkwardly to convince you of your own worth for 5 minutes ;)

These are the reasons that I believe compliments are the gateway to learning to appreciate our bodies. They are the affirmations that we subtly give to our higher self that we are worthy and adequate and amazing all on our own, whether or not we ever lose those 10 lbs or get that six-pack.

Perception Of Self

per·cep·tion

 noun \pər-ˈsep-shən\

: the way you think about or understand someone or something

: the ability to understand or notice something easily

: the way that you notice or understand something using one of your senses

Yesterday was my 41st birthday! I woke up early to roll out of bed and hit bootcamp for 6 am. I was a sweaty shaky mess when it was over and I loved it. I took the class with my friend SL. The trainer complimented her a few times on her muscle gains etc. I was happy for her and wondering what I looked like. I felt like I appeared to be a chunky, out of shape mess.

After bootcamp I ate breakfast, rinsed off and went to do a Pilates class when my friends TS and CS. I don't normally do 2 a day workouts but my birthday seemed a good day to punish myself. LOL! Pilates was challenging in a different way that usual for me. Slowing it down and using only my body for a workout was cool. I had a spot right in front of the mirror and every single time I bent or moved my core ALL I could see was my midsection fat rolls. It kind of ruined the class for me, I'll be honest. I felt really uncomfortable with my body and what I was seeing. Took me to a crappy place in my head.

Later in the day I was chatting with TS about life etc as usual. I sent her this message "Ugh. My rolls were grossing me out at Pilates". She replied back with "Um,actually I was going to say you are looking fabulous. Today you had tight fitting gym clothes on and you looked so lean and toned."
I found this interesting as she then stated that she felt like she looked gross as well. I, on the other hand, thought she was looking lean and mean. It made me think about perception of self. Clearly neither of us are seeing ourselves as the other sees us.

I've been told a million times in the last few years "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you". I never really got it. Seems a nice thing to say when you are blowing smoke up someone's ass. Not to say that my family or friends would do that. Til now, I've never really gotten it. It never hit home. 

So, my question for those who read this is....how DO you see yourself the way others see you? How do you take the crappy thoughts you have about yourself (body, life or any other nagging negatives that sneak in) and push them away so that you CAN see the good things that others see? I'd love to know how you all do it and how you feel about this particular topic. :)

More Thoughts On The Journey To Self Acceptance

So yesterday I decided to step on the scale for this first time since October 12th. I was shocked to see that I've stayed right around my normal weight but that my body fat % had gone down and my muscle percentage had gone up. Yay on that. Not sure how much I believe a scale but it was encouraging none the less. I started thinking about my body, my life and my workouts.

I had previously mentioned to you all (I think) about the hydro-static fat measuring test I had an appointment for on the 13th. I started thinking about WHY I wanted that test. Does it truly matter what my percentage is? Does it make me stronger or faster in my workouts? Nope. Does it make me a better Mom or wife? Nope. Does it gauge anything other than the amount of fat that I have so I can use it to start worrying about numbers again? Nope. I called this morning and cancelled it. Having that test done goes against what I'm trying to do with accepting myself as I am in every stage of my life. Who cares what my body fat % is! I've decided I don't.

At this stage in my life and in my athletic training, I do NOT need to get back the numbers game again. I don't need to start freaking out and tracking every single calorie I've eaten. I've been done with tracking for a few months now and I've maintained nicely even with half marathon training and some health set backs. This tells me I DO know how to eat. I know how to tweak my intake up or down based on what my training goals are. I need to trust myself on this.

I woke up this morning and realized that I DO NOT have to plan anymore long distance runs for the next month or two. I felt relief. Total and complete relief. My knee is pretty peeved today (though I still hit boot camp this morning) so I need to get it addressed. I have a suspicion that my issues are from weakness and/or over use and that I'll require physical therapy. It's cool though. I'm ready to have it dealt with and to focus on getting faster for my shorter races. Lots of strength training planned over the next month or two. I'm pretty excited to get back to that. I've missed the iron more than I can explain.

Race To The Flagpole Recap

So, today I had my half marathon that I ran to raise funds for JDRF. After being unable to run for the past 2 weeks I was feeling VERY under-trained and ill prepared. I was VERY happy when my friend EB said she was going to sign up to run it too a few days ago.

Got up around 545..15 minutes before my alarm. Came downstairs to eat my usual yams with almond butter and to drink a small glass of OJ. Got dressed, got my gear together and hit the road to pick up EB. We arrived to pick up our bibs with plenty of time to spare.

The race started on time at 8:30am. I had no time in mind, just wanted to finish without having to walk. We started out at a fairly quick pace and settled down into a chat pace soon after. The course was lovely. We went up a nice slow incline then ran past vineyards. I enjoyed chatting with EB and cussing when I saw each mile marker sign. I realized quickly that we were the 2nd and 3rd females of the group. We had to stop once for me to remove a leg strap that was causing chafing. Another lady ran ahead so I insisted we pass her. Stopped around mile 7 for a quick bathroom break and the same lady got ahead again. Also insisted we pass her to keep our places. ;)

Around mile 9 my leg started complaining and I started feeling an unpleasant rub on my big toe of the left foot. Kept going. The last part of the race was mostly unpaved trail. It was a little unpleasant on my knee and I almost rolled my ankle a few times. Mile 10 came along and things went downhill quickly. Every time my right leg came down I got hit with shooting pains up past the knee. I had to slow way down.

My energy really started flagging too. I had Honey Stinger chews but they didn't really help. Around mile 11 the lady who was behind us got ahead again and I didn't have anything left to pass her. I kept telling EB to go get her so she could finish 2nd. She's a good friend and refused to leave me.

I was cussing, whimpering and yelled out a time or two when the pain hit me hard. I would NOT walk a bit of the race. That's not what I set out to do. I limp ran across the finish line with a time of 1:58:46. Honestly that was WAY better than I'd anticipated. It's a good six minutes slower than my PR but still not bad for being hurt! She was 3rd of the women and I was 4th. She got 1st in her age and I got 2nd in mine. No medals but we have the glory of knowing.

I'm wiped out, gimped up (don't even ask about the Texas sized blister on my big toe) but happy that I completed what I set out to complete. I raised $324.50 for Team Blake's Buddies due to the amazing generosity of my friends. :) Couldn't ask for anything more. Thanks friends for helping me out and for supporting me!

All in all it was a decent race. I'll run the shorter distance next year.

Pros--
Lovely course
Finishers medals for all runners
Coffee at the finish but sadly it was all gone
Nice volunteers
Plenty of aid stations with water
Decent snacks with organic raisins, fresh fruit and such

Cons--
Course marking was a bit spotty
No age winner awards