My Adventures Into IIFYM 4/10/15

Just posted about going back to IIFYM approach of eating. Pretty happy actually. Feels less stressful already.

So far my days have looked like this -- with the occasion chocolate treat not photographed but totally tracked on MFP.

My cals have been averaging between 1600 and 1900 a day not counting what I'm burning at my training sessions...I have those accounted for in the 2200 I'm SUPPOSED to be eating....With all the protein, I've had a tough time hitting my calories and I haven't really felt like adding in big treats just yet. I felt pretty run down at yesterday's training session then yesterday I was hungry all day so I hit closer to that 1900 and had a way better session this morning. Calories in VERY much matter when you are trying to push your body 4-5 days a week in the gym! Started my week off (on Monday at 127.2...last I checked (on Wednesday) I was at 124.2...body is shedding a little bloat. Not sure where I'm at right now. I'll weigh in again on Sunday I think. Once a week is good enough for me. I'm not trying to lose weight anyway...just body fat. ;) 

Just a little update for today. More later. 

The Dirty on Clean Eating and Paleo

Been thinking a lot about this whole "clean" eating thing and Paleo thing...I have been following this way of life for over a year now and know what? I got fatter. Yep...visibly fatter on my belly. Photographic evidence has been taken. No, I'm NOT sharing it here. See my recent post on the Joy Thief and you'll have your proof.

I am officially a clean eating/Paleo flunky. I admit it and I think I'm good with saying goodbye to both. I know where I went wrong with Paleo...more on that if you really need to hear it. I want to incorporate all foods back into my diet with treats etc in moderation. I like the "if it fits your macros" aka IIFYM approach to living. As long as you make good choices and fill your day with healthy fuel, it's ok to have a treat if you are REALLY craving one. SO many people stress out about clean eating vs not clean eating. It's just not worth it to me anymore.  Does this mean I'm going to eat fast food? Hell no, that's funky shit (unless it's In N Out, then we'll talk). It means I'm still going to make good choices based on my particular goals. It also means I can actually relax and enjoy all the tasty foods at parties instead of sadly staring at the dishes on the table while eating the three "safe" foods I scoped out. It means I can relax again and plan things that I enjoy into my diet. I love the idea!

I also have realized that I TOTALLY made myself intolerant to gluten by cutting it out of my diet when I went Paleo. As you know, I've been adding it back in. I had REAL pizza yesterday with no ill effect. No foods make me sick (except corn..still dealing with that whole mouth rash thing..I'm working on it to see if that's a self made intolerance too) so why should I cut them out! Doesn't mean I'm going to eat gluten filled things daily, just means I can go enjoy a meal out with my family with no worry of pain afterwards! I also had two Hershey's minis. I'm sad to say they were not very tasty to me anymore. I'm spoiled on eating GOOD chocolate. That's cool though. Further proof that all treats are not created equal! ;)

I've gone back to tracking on MFP and with help from some awesome peeps (L I'm talking to you especially for getting my TDEE), I've set my caloric range at a hopefully suitable level for my personal goals. I am feeling good about seeing some changes. Not thrilled at adding cardio back in at least  twice a week (one HIIT and one run) BUT I know it's necessary to do what I want to do. I also know I'll learn to love it again once I get into it.

I know IIFYM isn't for everyone. If you struggle with moderation and can't keep from eating a whole pizza instead of one or two slices then , no, it's not for you. If you are far along enough in your journey to have willpower or to not even want treat food often, then it's an awesome fit. I lost all my weight by eating whatever I wanted as long as it fit into my daily calorie/macro goals. So, back to the grind. I had my body fat testing done a couple of months ago...I'll see what happens in another couple of months with this way of doing things. :)

I am not by any means bashing clean eating or Paleo, by the way. Both have taught me tons about healthy eating and both have helped me become an outstanding chef (patting self on back). I just also have learned that it's too easy to sway too far in either direction. Just because that cookie butter is "clean" does NOT mean you should eat a whole jar in two days! Calories ARE calories no matter how you go about it. I know lots of people who these "diets" work for. I'm just not one of them anymore.

In health and happiness!
Me

Joy Thief

Comparison is the thief of joy my friends. It's really truly is. I compare myself to others all the time. I even compare myself to myself! Happened this morning actually. Hubby and I ran a 5k this past weekend. I ran it to support him and it was fun. Got the pics in this morning. Saw this one--

My first thought was "what an awesome pic"! My second thought was "I look so happy". THEN...the third thought was "holy shit. Look at how fucking HUGE my middle looks!!" Let's not forget the huge dinner out Saturday night too..we threw down.  I've really been dealing with some stress gain. We decided to move to WA, buy a house and completely change our lives! All this within a couple of months. I've been stress eating (sugary crap) and drinking way more than usual. It's packed it on in my trouble zone. I know it. I hate it. I'm embarrassed to be out in public.  Got all dolled up for my date night Saturday night and was on the verge of tears all night. I felt SO gross. All I could see/feel was my stomach. :( I've resorted to walking around in yoga pants and hubby's shirts.

I look back at pics like this one from 2013 when I was really skinny and I'm upset with myself. Angry that I let myself "get this way".

But why? Get what way? Stronger? Less obsessive about food?  Was being super skinny something so special? I was small yes. 110 lbs I think?  I was fast yes (I'm still fast when I train to be) but I was weak. I was run down from all the cardio. I tracked every single calorie that went into my mouth obsessively for TWO years. I learned a lot but it was exhausting. I still had extra flab? I still wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini!

Been thinking alot about dietary stuff and how impacts the boy. Know what's funny? I ate what I wanted (in moderation of course) when I was smaller. No off limit foods...I had wine once a week with hubby. I had nutella and pretzel thins. I wasn't into "clean eating". Just less crap and making good choices. I didn't over do it because I allowed myself those treats without overdoing them. Interesting. 

So, Sunday after the race hubby and I went to town on some donuts. I haven't had donuts in like 1.5 years at least. I didn't crap myself or die. Pretty excited about that. They were tasty as hell too! Been working on adding gluten back into my diet. Pretty sure I MADE myself intolerant to it by cutting it out when I went Paleo. I'm not diving head first into a bread basket but it's cool to know I can eat it without pain now!  

Know what happened Monday morning? 

Boom....deadlift PR. Been trying to hit 200 pounds on my pulls and I FINALLY did it...3 times 1 rep each. Know what else happened? 

Yesterday I hit 300 lb leg presses for 10 reps. I'm good with that. I feel accomplished and strong. (Let's be honest I'd REALLY like some obvious guns. I find that to be the most frustrating part to train right now. I think my form is shit and I need help but my awesome trainer moved and personal training is $$$$$!!!! ) That's another story-- anyway--

I just read an article here that really made me think hard about my goals..I loved it. I want to live this way-- I want to FEEL this way about myself. 

http://coconutsandkettlebells.com/dont-want-six-pack-abs/

I KNOW the amount of stomach fat has nothing to do with what kind of person I am blah blah blah. But this article is about fitness and body stuff so that's why I'm focusing on it. I guess I have no real rhyme or reason for this entry. I just needed to get out the way I'm feeling. And I needed to say to myself and anyone else struggling-- 

DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE ELSE (even your old self)! Comparison IS the thief of joy my friends. Embrace the now in your journey. You have this moment... this very moment  only once in your lifetime. Do amazing shit with it no matter if you are at a high or low point in your life.