I've been feeling pretty anxious and "off" lately. I've had a hard time putting my finger on what exactly has been causing the feelings. We had some money stress but have put a game plan into place and are seeing great success (hooray!). Learning to say "no" or "I don't really need this thing" has been tough but we are already seeing the benefits so I know it's not the finance stuff. Things have settled down with the kiddo and the bullying crap he was dealing with so I know it's also not that. I've been moving my body as best I can and have stopped trying to push myself to be at a different level of athleticism than I am now..I mean, I ALWAYS strive to do better but I'm honest. I'm never going to run 7 minute miles like my friend "Little K". She had to slow down so much to run long with me that it hurt her legs. That's kind of depressing and humbling for me but instead of beating myself up over it, I'm just saying "Sorry...it's where I'm at right now. Let's run short runs together instead". I no longer make myself drag through workouts because I feel like I "have" to. If I need a day off, I take a day off. I'm excited for hiking weather to be coming up and have plans for a hiking blog. :)
Life is rolling along and there wasn't anything glaringly obvious to me until last night. See number 4!!!
I found myself scrolling through various Instagram accounts and was feeling envious/anxious/discouraged over the way my life is. I was thinking about how maybe if I ate this certain way I'd be leaner. Maybe if I ran this certain way I'd be faster. Maybe if I lived this certain way I'd be happier. It all left me feeling empty/depleted/confused. I love that social media exists for us to share our lives but sometimes it's all just TOO much for me. I'm going to take a social media fast for a little while. At least a month. Maybe longer. I think I'll update my blog every week or two just to keep in touch but I'm deleting instagram, facebook and even pinterest from my phone. I'm going to keep facebook open so I can touch base from my computer once a day (so my Mom won't worry) but that's it. I want to cherish the life I'm living, not look at someone else's life and idealize it to the point of feeling like mine is boring or somehow "wrong".
That's all I got. See ya'll when I decide to update again. :) I can be reached via text, FB messenger or email if ya need me.
