Pants, Cheese and Wine...Oh My!

The holiday feasting and "let's put on some size" has been going well. Hubby and I just got back from a 2 night/3 day get away where there was lots of this-- 

Some of this-- 

And we won't talk about this--

 Needless to say, my diet has been pretty off compared to my normal eating. I've been enjoying a LOT more sweets,wine and cheese. When I went to get dressed this morning my workout pants were VERY snug due to some belly bloat from said throw down. I started to cry, started to have a tantrum then I told myself to STFU and get out the house. I threw on a loose tank top, gathered my gear and rolled out. 

 At my lifting session today I felt strong, I stopped tearing myself down and I started admiring the things I've worked so hard to build. Those pants that felt snug in the waist? Who cares! I saw my quads popping when I looked down. I saw my once scrawny legs pushing 300 lbs on the leg press on my last set. That upper body fat that I was stressed about seeing? It can kiss my round squat booty ass! I saw my strong, capable arms lifting weights that I couldn't have touched a few years ago. I looked in the mirror and saw this-- 

It may not look like much to some of you all but to me, it represents almost 2 years of HARD work. Patience is key and I know that. I'm working on practicing it more in my daily life as well as my gym life. 

 I got this AMAZING gift from a super duper thoughtful friend. It represents everything that I want to be about. I want to be strong in body, strong in mind and strong in ALL aspects of my life really. I love it because my friend thinks of me as strong and inspiring. When I wear it, I think of her support and I smile.

Big things are in store for 2015 and some game plans have been made. Up first I have my MRI this Monday followed by my dr's appt to see what's up with this knee on the 5th. It hasn't healed, I still can't run and the knee are actually LOOKS bruised now after all the downhill hiking I did so, pretty sure I can't pretend it's not injured anymore. I'll do what I need to do to get healed fully and I'm praying that Dr B doesn't try to take lifting away from me during recovery too. We'll see what he has to say and go from there. 

Happy holidays friends! I hope you all stay amazing! 

Food Porn

Yep. Been lots of tasty things coming out of my kitchen. Got a Dutch Oven (no, not the farty kind) for my birthday and I LOVE it. Behold the goodness--- Hungry yet?

Still eating mostly paleo but, as always, when my body asks me to I toss in some oats, rice or something along those lines. Also added back in small amounts of cheese. So far so good on that. 

People ask WHY I cook all our meals. Because I KNOW what's in my food. Because I like the way the food I cook makes me feel. I've been out to eat a few times recently and honestly, I typically feel like shit afterwards. I hate how much salt and other extra crap most places add to our foods. I have a very short list of eateries I'll willingly go to. Hubby and I are going away for some MUCH needed us time (thanks Gramma for watching the kid). When we travel, we always choose a VRBO with a real kitchen. It's because I really do love cooking. It's also because if we are gone for 2 nights/3 days and I have to dine out for every single meal I will come home feeling terrible. Been there, done that. Won't do it again. 

Progress No Matter How Small

Hi people. It's been a while. Sorry. I've had lots to say but nothing ever seems important enough to put out into the world. So, since I've been gone this happened!!!!!

Ok, not really BUT I have been on a strength gain cycle. Knee has kept me out of running so naturally it seemed a fine time to start with trying to gain some mass again. I've been taking Creatine, lifting as heavy as I can and trying to eat up all the good foods (and maybe a dozen or so naughty oatmeal cookies). I've seen some good progress in terms of getting stronger especially with leg strength.

I've been feeling pretty...ahem....chunky for lack of a better word lately. My jeans are snug (thank you yoga pants for existing) and I feel like I've got a lot of extra baggage in the middle. I'm trying to add on mass without adding too much extra blubber...SO HARD. Today I decided to step on the scale for the first time in a month. I saw a number 3.5 pounds higher than my last weigh in BUT my body fat % had dropped and my muscle mass had gone up. Now, I know that scales like this aren't super accurate and I have a hard time believing I've leaned out or gained much in terms of muscle. Though I have noticed that my quads are looking pretty beefed up especially in my workout pants so could it be that I'm doing it right FINALLY? I'm going to roll with these new numbers and keep doing my thing. Trying to decide if I should move up a size in my pants for now. I wore a new, size up pair of jeans yesterday. Felt great in the legs but kept slipping down when I moved around so maybe I need to just be ok with muffin top normal sized jeans? I hate pants. I think I want to live in skirts/dresses instead. That's another blog post I think.

I was actually super proud of myself for not freaking out over the new high number.Truth be told, I truly don't give a shit over what the scale says. I want to feel good in my clothing. If I end up weighing 140 lbs but am a compact, little powerhouse then so be it!

I know a few months ago I posted about saying goodbye to MFP. It's been awesome not tracking BUT I created a new account yesterday. I've decided that since I have VERY specific goals and that since I'm such a hard gainer, I'm going to use the tools out there to help me. I'm tracking for a short time to make sure I'm sniffing where I need to be sniffing with calories/macros. This won't be long term and I'm not adding friends etc. I don't need motivation or encouragement...I got that. I just need the numbers in front of me easily accessible.

Had a good talking to by SR who is the trainer of the bootcamp I'm hitting a few times a week. He got a no BS attitude and doesn't tend to sugar coat things. I appreciate that style. Was talking to him about my goals and about being frustrated over lack of progress. He said "The problem with you is, YOU ARE FIT! Your changes are small and your eyes are critical," That's very, very true. I am going to start recognizing the small changes and focusing on the now while keeping "the big"picture in mind
too.

Have a great day peeps..Next post is gonna be lots of food porn! :)