More Thoughts On The Journey To Self Acceptance

So yesterday I decided to step on the scale for this first time since October 12th. I was shocked to see that I've stayed right around my normal weight but that my body fat % had gone down and my muscle percentage had gone up. Yay on that. Not sure how much I believe a scale but it was encouraging none the less. I started thinking about my body, my life and my workouts.

I had previously mentioned to you all (I think) about the hydro-static fat measuring test I had an appointment for on the 13th. I started thinking about WHY I wanted that test. Does it truly matter what my percentage is? Does it make me stronger or faster in my workouts? Nope. Does it make me a better Mom or wife? Nope. Does it gauge anything other than the amount of fat that I have so I can use it to start worrying about numbers again? Nope. I called this morning and cancelled it. Having that test done goes against what I'm trying to do with accepting myself as I am in every stage of my life. Who cares what my body fat % is! I've decided I don't.

At this stage in my life and in my athletic training, I do NOT need to get back the numbers game again. I don't need to start freaking out and tracking every single calorie I've eaten. I've been done with tracking for a few months now and I've maintained nicely even with half marathon training and some health set backs. This tells me I DO know how to eat. I know how to tweak my intake up or down based on what my training goals are. I need to trust myself on this.

I woke up this morning and realized that I DO NOT have to plan anymore long distance runs for the next month or two. I felt relief. Total and complete relief. My knee is pretty peeved today (though I still hit boot camp this morning) so I need to get it addressed. I have a suspicion that my issues are from weakness and/or over use and that I'll require physical therapy. It's cool though. I'm ready to have it dealt with and to focus on getting faster for my shorter races. Lots of strength training planned over the next month or two. I'm pretty excited to get back to that. I've missed the iron more than I can explain.